The ENTIRE show, Raising Hope, cracked me up last night…and this was definitely one of the highlights!!!

Raising Hope DON’T BITE

Ok.  Seriously?  Please help me out here because I am innocent (well, at least of THIS charge)…

Last week I sent an email to a few co-workers who are known golfers.  In said email, I asked said coworkers to kindly let me know if they need a fourth – or an afternoon on the course because my boyfriend Brian was coming home from Bahrain for two weeks and he’s a major golfer.  I let them know that if Brian were to golf with them, that meant I wouldn’t have to golf with Brian. 

You see, when Brian and I first started dating, he took me golfing a few times, bought me some wicked-awesome pink clubs…and I enjoyed my time on the course.  But really, I more enjoyed being with Brian on the course (and my super-killer pink clubs) far more than I actually enjoyed golfing…

So, what I considered a little “girl-lie” early in our dating days, my golfer “friends” considered the ole “bait and switch”…as if to imply I lied about enjoying golf just to “land” Brian!!!!

Hmmmm…not fair.  Please help me defend myself here.  By the way… I still very much enjoy time on the course with Brian (and my bitchin’ pink clubs) … here is my proof:

America’s Got Talent winner Michael Grimm (talented, soulful, great story to boot) and 2WD artist Jewel sang a duet last night before the winner was announced.  With all due respect to Jewel…WUH?…REALLY?  You sound like Carol Channing would sound if she sang!  For the love of Pete, Jewel!  You missed a massive opportunity to just rock this song with your amazing voice!

In the midst of making dinner yesterday evening, I heard not the pitter-patter of little feet, but loud, clunking stomps.  I turned to see my precious 4 year old daughter had changed into yet an other outfit for the day (And it was a beaut!!  Black skirt, brown tights, tall black boots – JEEEEZZZOIKS!). 

“Reesey-piece, what are you doing honey?” I inquired.  With her Just How Clueless Are You Mom look and borderline condescending tone, she retorted “I’m getting my fishing pole.” 

Hmmmmm…okay.  Of course she’s getting her fishing pole – how stupid of me.

(I’ve surrendered to the fact that when she is 8, such a comment will be followed up with an eye-roll & a “duh!”…and I can assure you my reaction will be so swift and so fierce it will happen only once.)

Moments later when looking out of the kitchen window, I realized just how confident AND cool my daughter is. 

Theresa doesn’t care who you are or what you think.  She got it in her little head that she needed at that moment was to put on her brown tights & black boots, grab her fishing pole & sit on her swing in the rain.  She was experiencing the type of peace and fulfillment we all strive for. 

I admire her.   I salute her.   I fear her.

I have a crush on Justin Beiber? 

Time to dust off the “Olsen Twins  Countdown  To 18 Clock” and reset it for Justin Beiber.  (Just ’sayin)…

videoplayback

Me to my mom:  “Hey Mom, will you take Theresa shopping for a little lunch box?  Nothing too big because she’s only in preschool for half the day and it’s just for a snack.  Something big enough to hold a nutrigrain bar and a small bottle of water, ok?”

My Mom: “Of course!  I love taking that baby shopping!  I’ll let her pick it out!”

2 hours later they came home with a fancy little lunch bag and a MASSIVE, rolling suitcase for her to carry it in.

Me to my mom:  “Really, mom?  Are you kidding me?  What is that?  She’s 4 mom.  Four.  That suitcase is bigger then her.  I said a lunch box – that’s it.”

My mom to me:  “Theresa felt it was a good idea to have something to put her lunch box in, and I agreed…so I let her pick out whatever she wanted.”

Theresa to me:  “Yeah, we thought it was a good idea.  Now I have a way to get my lunch box into school and out of school.  I needed it mom.”

Me to my mom:  “Wow.  Nice, mom.  Do you have any idea how huge of a hassle that will be every morning?  She’ll have to push the handle in to carry it up and down stairs, pull the handle out to roll it on any flat surface…it’ll take 10 minutes to get from the house to the car – another 10 from the car into school…it’ll drive me nuts!”

My mom to me: (with a smarmy grin   “Of course I know that.”

So the conversation goes like this:

Tias: “Hey Jenna…since you’re wearing fun rainboots, I think we should go outside and stand in the rain.”

Jenna: “I couldn’t agree more! But first I have to run into the ladies bathroom to get my flat iron. Care to join me?”

Tias: “Of course!”

So we go into the ladies room where Tias promptly began to pretend-brush his teeth with my flat iron. I crack up because we’re adults AND idiots AND at work… he cracks up because he’s pleased with his sense of humor. Then the bathroom door opens and it’s our brand new receptionist that we haven’t even met yet!!!!!

Not cool. She was startled, and found the whole situation rather obnoxious, I’m sure. Even as we tried to explain JUST HOW FUNNY WE ARE…she was unimpressed and unamused.

Kinda makes the whole thing funnier. Or not.